Cooke Family genes are very easy to spot…
The nose, which almost everone has, except me because mine was broken, and never came back quite the same (yay me)
The Height, which is actually funny because all of my GIANT uncles married short women, and now we all are just about normal height.
The Boobs, one day you go to sleep flat chested, the next you have to buy bras online because it looks as if you will topple over.
Now, not all of us have all of these traits, my sister, has normal smallish boobs, and after mingling between the 6 footer men and the 5 footer women, us cousins all turned out to be normal heights in the 5”4 - 5”6 range, although Ange still has some growing to do.
I am the oldest of all the cousins (even the oldest of the “cousins” who are just super close friends of the family.) So, I should probably be setting an example… and even more so because I was lucky enough to get the most psychotic person in the family as my father, but thats another story all in its self …. anyway I SHOULD be setting an example to my sister, and my cousins, about working hard, and being in school, and being happy, and having fun , and loving the body your in and all that other bullshit.
But, Im here just trying to learn it all myself, I don’t really have too much role models for myself, and Im the kind of person who needs to do some stupid shit to realize that “damn, I should have just listened to everyone else “
I was at My cousins house the other night, and I have not seen her (other than Facebook) for years. She is beautiful, and smart, and having the same body troubles that I was having in High School. She wants to fit into the skinny jeans, but her hips are wide, and legs are thick, bras are hard to find in her size, so she shops online, and can usually only get ugly ones, or expensive ones… and over all she just feels too big.
And, I felt the same way, so I made changes, too many changes…. and I got too skinny, and guess what that didnt make me feel better. But try telling a 17 year old that.
And still to this day, I think my legs are too thick, my boobs are too big…
So, how to I tell her not to think about it, when thats all I think about too.
She thinks she is fat, but she is athletic, she is thick, she is fucking beautiful.
I tell her, that we wear the same size pants… so if she is fat, I’m fat.
But sometimes I feel fat… So I dont know who I was helping there.
I just dont see it, she looks damn near perfect, and shes 17.
YOU DONT WANT TO BE AT YOUR PEAK in high school.
and this is something I didn’t understand until recently.
In high school, I felt pretty, but I also felt weird, I had this adult body and adult problems, and I never had time to feel like a kid, but my brain was still on high school mode, and that conflict is mind warping…
And this conflict causes trouble…
I just want her them to know that, there is nothing you can do about your body. YOU CAN EAT HEALTHY AND WORK OUT, but you will always have big hips and big boobs, and YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE THAT!
I almost want to buy some porn magazines and show them, THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO LOOK AT. but I dont because their parents WOULD NOT appreciate that.
anyway, point of the story is, its going to take a while, but size doesn’t matter as much as Cosmo tells you. And you are smart, and I know you wont see this or understand it right away and it might sound like total BULLSHIT it is true.
there just are not enough hours in the day.
I need to make smaller goals…
I also need to learn to say no…